La Opinion Article

Iliana and I met with a reporter from La Opinion to speak about our efforts to increase the number of undocumented students at CGU. This was a few days before meeting with the Vice President of Advancement at Claremont, which was an entirely exciting meeting. Our purpose was to publicly continue the conversation about educational pathways for undocumented and DACAmented students.

We feel that the more there is attention given to the issue, the more students will also continue to advocate for the inclusion of students like us at the Ph.D. level and the more institutions will continue to be accountable for looking to undocumented students as viable candidates for graduate work.

Recruiting the Heart, Training the Brain

Last week was an exciting week in Latino Health Access History with the delivery of 2,000 copies of Recruiting the Heart, Training the Brain: the Work of Latino Health Access. The 501(c)3 public health organization has been in Santa Ana for the last 23 years and has had tremendous success in expanding access to culturally and linguistically-competent services for low-income Latinos. The organization and it’s CEO are truly inspirational. In a recent meeting with a funder, the CEO told the story of her time as a doctor in rural Venezuela. She traveled through the most remote and under-resourced towns, treating symptoms–repeatedly and without hope that people would remain well in the long-term.

WHY? she asked herself, and soon realized that the structural barriers that limited the voice of these individuals to be amplified were the same that, then, made decisions that perpetuated negative health outcomes for these communities. The solution was: amplifying the voice of the community. This same theme became apparent in Orange County, California, a county of great wealth and resources–none of which were benefiting low-income Latinos, a population that was largely uninsured in 1993.

Latino Health Access war born out of a need to expand services to low-income Latinos in Orange County. It is an organization uniquely designed to provide direct services as a way to prepare individuals to become engaged in advocating for and working toward changes in their community that affect their health, that of their children and their neighborhoods. The organization has been greatly successful at expanding a model that focuses on engaging the community as leaders in their own health, which was the premise of the CEO’s TEDMED Talk “What happens when patients become leaders on the
health team?”

The book is in itself an answer to that question, and it is a genuine reflection of Latino Health Access’ journey and the road that’s still ahead.

Funds of Knowledge Presentations

On March 8^th, I had the opportunity to speak to the Funds of Knowledge class at UCLA about my forthcoming paper on Funds of Knowledge and Ivy League students. It is the first Funds of Knowledge class at UCLA, taught by Celia Rios-Aguilar, who had recently become tenured at CGU. Phillip came with me to the presentation. We ran late and even later after driving in circles in the poorly-lit parking lot trying to find an available space. I prepared a presentation but did not bring my computer nor was there one available in the classroom, so I resorted to summarizing both my research and the entire experience of researching and being an undocumented student in the middle of dissertating. At the end of the class, Cecilia extended an invitation to me to be part of her forthcoming book on Funds of Knowledge in higher education.  This invitation is very humbling because I admire her tremendously. She is an example of someone who is intentional about facilitating opportunities for her students, and she does so fully believing in us and treating us as colleagues.

On April 5^th, I also presented at Dr. Perkins’ class at CGU. The class was a bit smaller than the one at UCLA, if only by one or two students. Students had read about admissions at elite colleges and preparatory schools, undocumented students and in general, they had discussed the responsibilities of higher education. The discussion that ensued was very uplifting. And, it was a reminder of how far I’ve come along the process of researching but also how much longer I have on this road. It called to mind the years I’ve also sat in classes, admiring the students who presented, thinking to myself, “I wonder if I’ll ever get to that point.” Sometimes, it didn’t feel like the moment would come, like in the summer of 2014, when I was so close to taking a semester off, knowing that in reality that semester would likely turn into a year and then into an unstated amount of time. If Jessica hadn’t been such an advocate for me—to my own self—my Ph.D. journey would be delayed even longer.

Each time I present, I also have a better understanding of where I want to go with my research, that really MY research carries an important purpose of holding institutions accountable for their actions or lack thereof on behalf of undocumented students and underrepresented students. At the same time, my research continues to be a personal effort to give voice to the experiences of students—who like me—do not always have open and safe opportunities to do so.

Why Should Undocumented Students Be the Only Ones…

“Why should undocumented students be the only ones to receive a full-ride?”

That was the subject line on an e-mail that I read through—very quickly—and then sent to the trash folder. It’s an argument I’ve heard over and over, sometimes fueled by ignorance, sometimes fueled by hatred. On this particular occasion, it seemed that the motivation was a genuine, yet entirely misguided, concern for Justice. The main arguments were:

1. As my posts indicate, undocumented students at CGU are already receiving a “full-ride.”
2. There are other low-income students in the country who also deserve to be able to finish grad school.
3. DACA means undocumented students can now work, earn money, and pay for school.

Equality Vs. Equity (Pic Credit: Google Image Search)

In summary, it isn’t fair that undocumented students are already getting full-funding and are asking for more. I would need an entire 29 years of life to explain to someone who has not lived in my shoes why full-funding at the Ph.D. level is but one single positive, helpful thing in the span of 29 years of quite the contrary, one that does not even begin to address all of the injustices in my life. But, this is not about ME, because despite hurdles and barb wire, I’ve led a privileged enough life that I can sit here and write a WordPress blog entry and defend my journey. That being said, such is not the case of the majority of undocumented students. And, as a brief, public response:

1. Even a “full-ride” for an undocumented student does not include student fees ($300 per semester) room and board ($18,000+ as a very conservative estimate), books ($500 per semester), conference expenses ($2,000+ per year), travel to and from school ($1,000) , general living expenses (6,000), research expenses ($5,000+), health insurance ($2,000) and other unforeseen expenses. Research, conferences and publishing are such integral parts of the Ph.D. process that excluding undocumented students from these activities is tantamount to barring them from the essence of the Ph.D. and would set them back in terms of skills and career preparation that these activities provide for students.
2. Undocumented students firmly believe that institutions need to reform their admissions and financial aid practices to be more inclusive of all low-income students of color. It is not undocumented students as a group that attempt to receive preferential treatment. Institutions themselves frame it as a “you versus all other students” argument. This argument begins when the “deserving” students—those with high marks, extracurricular activities, and a general “good character” are put on a track toward college while all others are forgotten among drop out statistics, college undermatching, and pools of community college students who will never make it out, none of which can be fairly said to be the students’ fault. It is the original argument for the DREAM Act, based on the concept of meritocracy, without fully addressing the structural issues that make meritocracy fail again and again. As undocumented students, we are advocates of first-generation college students, low-income students, people of color, and all students who have been historically neglected by institutions of higher education.
3. DACAmented students have only been able to obtain lawful employment since 2012, and not all students applied right at the beginning of the implementation of DACA for various reasons, including the $485 fee to apply and subsequent renewal fees in the same amount. As a result, a DACAmented students’ starting salary in comparison to their peers who have worked for 2, 3 or more years differs greatly. Although there are some loan options for undocumented students, they do not yet exist as standard as those loans offered to the general population of students, and they are not viable for undocumented students whose legal protection from deportation through DACA is uncertain beyond their current terms. And, in general, DACA is not a permanent or all-inclusive solution to the predicament of beneficiaries or the millions of undocumented people in the United States who do not currently qualify for the program.

All of this to say that, the answer to “Why should undocumented students be the only ones to receive a full-ride?” is that the ride isn’t at all free, unless you ignore the personal socioemotional and economic trauma from deportation of family members, the ever-present threat of deportation, the exclusion from opportunities because of the lack of a social security number, and the never ending after-effects of growing up undocumented.

At Risk of Extinction at CGU

Claremont, referred to as the city of trees and Ph.Ds., is a Los Angeles suburban dreamscape nestled near the foot of the San Gabriel Mountains with a small town vibe. It is the home of the Claremont Colleges–5 well-endowed private colleges and 2 graduate schools–and the prestigious Webb Schools, two independent boarding high schools.

This is the backdrop of the Claremont Graduate University, which in 2011/2012 opened the doors to four undocumented students as a result of a handful of staff and faculty who took a stand on our behalf by making a financial aid offer that covered full tuition for coursework. All students were admitted to the School of Educational Studies. Years later, the university would admit masters’ students to other departments. One of them withdrew from the university. The other was forced to take a semester off while she worked to raise enough money to return. Such was the case with one Ph.D. student. Others of us have seriously considered doing the same. As the Ph.D. student cohort began to finish coursework, we asked for a solution to funding for doctoral studies and asked for a plan to address the need to support future of undocumented students at CGU. This was the premise of our first meeting with the Provost.

In our second meeting with the Provost, sometime in November, he excitedly shared that the university would cover four semesters of Doc Studies for the four undocumented Ph.D. students on campus. He announced it as a victory, one that would enable us to finish our Ph.D. journey and get us on the way to our career of choice, a demonstration of their commitment to us and an acknowledgement of our achievements. The tone–not of his voice, but of the gesture–was one of “thank you for being a student. Fine we will fund your remaining work, so you can graduate and get out of our hair.” And yet, we explained to the Provost:

• This does not address the financial needs of undocumented Masters students. In fact, it creates a division among current undocumented students on the premise that they made a commitment to Ph.D. students when we received our admissions letter–to help us finish. Is the same commitment not made to all students?
• As Ph.D. students, we are committed to finding long-term solutions to ensure that CGU continues to attract and support undocumented students. How can we be proud to be CGU students and future graduates of the university when we cannot invite other undocumented students to the university? We reminded him that, in fact, one of friends and colleagues would continue to say that she would rather drop out than give up on finding a long-term pathway for undocumented students at CGU.
• This mentality of focusing on us only continued to view undocumented students as a burden. We re-explained that personally and professionally, we had skills and connections that could be financially beneficial to the university, and we would welcome an opportunity to try to activate these in partnership with CGU to be a proactive component of a long-term strategy. The Provost’s eyes lit up as we began to discuss target fundraising goals, but months passed and the light has been turned off by administrative chaos, amidst the resignation of the Fund Development Trustee, a vacancy in the Advancement office and other administrative transitions. Because of this, he explained (non-apologetically), we were not a priority to the Board of Trustees [and therefore, to the university].

Flash forward since that second meeting–The Master’s student has found a listening ear in her department with great amounts of good will, but perhaps not enough political or financial capital to seamlessly help to fund  her remaining terms. New prospective undocumented students have been admitted without sufficient support to make attendance a viable option. Two Ph.D. students are now ABD. The remaining two will begin writing their dissertation proposals. And, as we advance through these important academic milestones which are cause for celebration, we also mourn the fact that the undocumented student population at CGU is, simultaneously, rapidly heading toward extinction.

IRB Woes

A good part of February was devoted to researching foundation websites; reading dissertation grant Requests for Proposal; scanning their eligibility requirements. I applied for three dissertation fellowships during this time. And, when I had exhausted the applications for social sciences that allowed non-U.S. citizens to apply, I finally had the resolve to complete the IRB application.

Preparing the application took about four hours from start to finish. My advisor gave me his signature electronically, and off it went, only to receive a quick response that would delay the entire process. The missing element: researching basics certification from the CITIProgram. At this moment, my Ph.D. handbook, collecting electronic dust mites, chuckled and reminded me of its existence.

Within two days following the IRB’s e-mail, I knocked six modules out of the way, but the process of sitting in front of the computer and taking multiple choice tests was too reminiscent of everything that was wrong with grade school. A day went by without me taking any modules. Then a week. One test. Another week. Somewhere along the way, I made a meme portraying my advisor as the voice of my conscience.

It would take a Friday night at the worst bar and grill I’ve ever been to–filled with overconfident yet extremely rude and inconsiderate bar tenders, sensitive (and drunk) older men whose sorrows revolved around being ignored by these same bar tenders, and a deficient sound system that engulfed the vocals of the live bands in a bothersome echo for me to finish my last eight modules. Sure, I could have stayed home and avoided the puzzled glares and questions about my sitting at the bar scrolling through pages of text and clicking through options on the quizzes, but Phillip’s band was playing. He blasts music through the airwaves, releases albums, sings songs. I present research, publish articles, and type my life away. Two different worlds co-existing in the most annoying place, this one time. On this particular night, they closed their set with Laid to Rest. One fourth through the song, I printed my certification and closed my computer. Done.

OC Funders to Tackle Immigration Issues

For the first time in this mostly conservative county, a pool of local and regional funders have decided to pool resources to offer grants for services specifically benefiting undocumented immigrants. The first grant, administered by the Orange County Community Foundation and funded by the California Endowment, will provide non-profits with funding for outreach, education and enrollment services for undocumented children seeking full-scope Medi-Cal under the Health 4 All Kids senate bill. This was a major policy victory in California, which has a large population of undocumented individuals, including children.

Growing up, I remember my sister and brother having yearly check-ups at the Children’s Hospital of Orange County. I received my vaccines there, but nothing else because I was ineligible. No yearly check-ups, no six-month dental exams–just went along hoping that nothing major happened. Until in 8th grade, something major did happen. My back went out and I was diagnosed with spondylolysis, causing me to lose my first day of school, confining me to a wheelchair for a few days and making me fully aware of how truly and practically horrible my predicament was as an undocumented youth. It was that same year that I realized that my dreams of pursuing a college education would be severely limited. Fifteen years late, I have devoted my academic and professional career to advancing research, opportunities and services for  this population.

It truly made me hopeful that a core group of well-recognized leaders in the philanthropy and non-profit scene in Orange County were finally able to name immigration as a core issue that most community based groups are tackling, although indirectly. This leadership is key to elicit additional groups of local, regional and national funders to build the capacity of the OC community to help undocumented immigrants to maximize their potential. It’s a promising prospect.
The second funding opportunity is for non-profit groups to provide outreach, education and enrollment services to eligible potential DACA beneficiaries and to help screen other individuals in preparation for expanded DACA and DAPA.  Anne Olin from the Olin Group gave an overview of the Orange County landscape around capacity to process applications for either of these programs. The Orange County Community Foundation is again serving as the administrative hub of this grant, which is being funded by St. Joseph Health System, Sisters of St. Joseph of Orange Foundation (perhaps a few other funders locally, but undisclosed at the time) and matched by Open Society Foundations at the national level.

Admittedly, this is both exciting and terrifying because expanded DACA and DAPA are set to go to the Supreme Court this summer, and I have years of experience of allowing myself to be hopeful for some type of immigration relief only to be disappointed when the DREAM Act was defeated time and time again. I’ve allowed my hopes to become immune to promises of any type of immigration reform or policy. Perhaps that’s what took me so long to understand the implications of DACA on my own life, and it took me even longer to decide to apply. And, although I still have to remain conservative about my expectations for the ruling of these policies, I am thankful that over a decade after the first defeat of the DREAM Act, Orange County–of all places– is finally stepping out of the shadows and is on its way to recognizing that there is much to gain if undocumented individuals had the opportunity to be legally integrated into our community.

 

Proposal Defense

I defended my qualifying exam and proposal yesterday. My committee gave a lot of positive feedback and amazing suggestions.

 

It’s back to the drawing board to reconfigure my theoretical model. This is somewhat of a relief because the final product will be very concise, even if it means I have to spend some additional time to improve it now.

Either way, the outcome of this meeting was a lot better than the nightmare I had, a continuation of a recurring dream in which I never actually finished my math courses in high school, so “they” (whoever “they” are) invalidate my entire educational journey beyond high school. This dream has been coming back every few months for over a year now. And in my dream last week, Will, my advisor, sits breaks the news to me AFTER I give my presentation. Yikes!

For now, my to-do list has become:

1. Finish Fellowship applications.
2. Revise Proposal.
3. Send IRB Application.
4. Write Participant Recruitment Letter.
5. Conduct Pilot Study.

 

Surgery

In the Pre-Op Room

Yesterday 12/31/2015 I finally had my gallbladder removed. The procedure was extremely fast, without the expected hallucinations as I was dozing off into sleep. I barely remember being wheeled in to the operation room and the next thing I know, I was in the recovery room, hoping everyone would stop making so much noise so I could continue to sleep. I didn’t get such opportunity.

The nurse provided some more pain medication, making me extremely drowsy. But, she simultaneously, continued to make preparations for my discharge, including getting the wheelchair ready for me and helping me, somewhat hurriedly, to get my clothes back on. I went home, completely nauseous from the anesthesia and didn’t hold my mom’s yummy chicken and rice soup very well.

Today, I am much better. I’ve been alternating strong and less strong painkillers and eating a lot better. I even showered all on my own. Before going to surgery, I made myself a new pair of earrings–the wings of monarch butterflies. Monarch butterflies are resilient. And free.

I put them on as soon as I woke up today. I stayed in bed because it still isn’t that easy to even roll from one side to the next. I have staples in the four little incisions on my skin, and it hurts to laugh or cough. But, I’ve been able to get up and walk around. My goal is to not have to use all my pain medication. I’ve made a lot of progress, even in just one day. Tomorrow, I’ll try to walk around a little more. I can’t sit fully upright just yet, but slowly, I’m hoping to regain my full range of motion. There are a lot of exciting things coming up, and I need to be as gracious as a monarch to be able to take full advantage of all these upcoming opportunities.